A place to share updates, progress, pictures, and prayers for our son,Isaac, as he fights Spinal Muscular Atrophy.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Archives: 6/22/2014 Answers in a Baby's Smile
Posted Jun 22, 2014 5:19pm
This is daddy (Jeremiah) doing an update, since Jenna has done all the others...
My wife, Jenna, and I are mates for life. We are very different in many ways. She is warm and compassionate. I tend to be cold and calculating. She is the worst procrastinator I've ever met. I prepare so far in advance it is sometimes ridiculous. She tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. I make people prove themselves. Jenna's faith in God is much stronger than mine. I'm an analytical researcher by nature, and if I don't see numbers and hard data to back things up, I question them and am very skeptical. I do believe in God, but I question Him. I know that my head would probably explode if I knew God's will for everything, but I still ask "Why?" I sometimes find myself shaking my fists at the sky and screaming, just taunting the Almighty to a showdown. Then I find myself on my knees, sobbing and thanking God for allowing my hands the steady strength to revive my son when he almost died. Then I question God "Why did you let me save his life for it to be taken in a few short months?"
In the last four days, I've made a doctor and my 'shrink' cry. Not because I was mean to them, but because I asked them questions that they couldn't answer. They couldn't answer the questions not because they were under-educated, but because my questions have no answers. WHY?
All I know is that when I see my boy, Isaac Gregory, my heart skips a beat. When I hold him he looks deep into my eyes and smiles as if he himself is trying to answer my questions for God. His smiles make me feel happy and content. My time with Isaac is very precious to me and I will cherish every last minute of it. I know that when this purgatory that we call earth is over, I will get my questions answered, and I will get to teach my boy to ride a bike in heaven. That will be a good day.